I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
