Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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