Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
