how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
