its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
