Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
