Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
