so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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