She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
