my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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