i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
