Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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