There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
