I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
