we made out on top of his cat.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize