Swine flu. Run for my life!
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
tell me about the fingering
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