So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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