I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
