we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
