I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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