I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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