Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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