i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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