why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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