One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I want to fling myself into the sun
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
