Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I think I just sharted jello shots
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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