Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
