he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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