Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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