Im at strip club and am horny
my being single is dangerous.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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