I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
