I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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