It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
