I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
