this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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