And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
