About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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