Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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