Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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