Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize