Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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