it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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