He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
