Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
