i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
