youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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