Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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