I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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