So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize