yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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