whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you traded sex for a burrito?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
