Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she told me i tasted like america
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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