You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
