Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Let's get the cat blown out
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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