i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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