i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
