I'm sorry my penis didn't work
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize
