your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
