I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
