So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
