Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
