Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
