I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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